3 Years and Counting

Today I celebrate my 3 year anniversary from open heart surgery.

Let me start by saying, I cannot believe that it has been three years since I underwent the most terrifying surgery of my life. In some ways it feels like it never happened, and in other ways it feels like it was last week. I literally sat here doing the math, is it really 3 years?!

Selfie in the ER during one of my many visits there, in this stunning hat sent by a bestie….

If you missed this huge life event of mine here are the cliff notes. A little more then three years ago I came down ill, with a cold. The whole house got it, and mine just never went away. I remained sick for a couple months, and finally started to have night sweats, fevers, and what I know now as shortness of breath. I ended up in the hospital and was diagnosed with endocarditis.

How does a healthy Mom and yoga teacher, not to mention health addict become this ill? Nobody knew. They tested and tested but never really figured out how I became so sick. If you are not familiar, Endocarditis is “a potentially life-threatening inflammation of the inner lining of the heart (endocardium), often caused by bacteria, fungi, or other germs entering the bloodstream and attaching to the heart valves or lining.” Thank you google for that beautiful explanation. My particular bacteria was commonly found in the mouth, so the thought was maybe from being sick and coughing a lot, my throat was raw and it snuck into my blood stream? Or was it maybe from the myers-cocktail iv that I got while I was sick trying to make myself better? Was it because nobody took me seriously because it wasn’t Covid? Unfortunately we never got any answers while I was in the hospital.

I underwent open heart surgery to replace my aortic valve. The surgery was sudden and before I knew it I was recovering from a crazy life changing event. Mike did an amazing job in keeping up with the world through caring bridge, so if you have any interest in knowing more details check it out in the link below. It’s just too much for me to recall.

One of the only selfies I took in the hospital, so brutal…

In the past three years I have done a deep dive into my health. My gut needed to be repaired after the 6 weeks of continuous antibiotics, so I started there. I have seen numerous doctors, mostly not covered by insurance of course. I was looking for answers. I have done many tests including, mold, parasites, auto-immune, micro-clotting, Lyme, and so many more. When I was in the hospital there was one test that I had gotten back which was that I was positive for Epstein-Barr Virus and it was active. It turns out a lot of times when your immunity is low, old viruses and bugs that you have had in the past can pop back up. Well after much testing, yes I had parasites and mold. Yes I had the micro-clotting that is associated with long haul covid. And the big YES was 7 strains of Lyme were in my system, a few of them currently active at the time of testing. So shit, I was a host to all this crap dragging my immunity into the dumps.

I had felt “off” for years. Different symptoms over time including major fatigue, body rashes and I am sure many more little things that were just brushed off. Years before I had tried to figure out what was going on with my body but had been gaslighted hard by my doctor at the time in Los Angeles, which took the wind out of my sails. (It was bad enough I actually reported her to the powers that be at UCLA where she was working.) I often wonder if she had listened to me would we have found all this stuff earlier? Would we have found out about the Lyme and Epstein-Barr? Could I have avoided open heart surgery if I had had the tools to know that my immunity was tanked?

Moving on…So today life is different. I am living with Lyme and EBV, not to mention the other shit. And have done a ton of work on myself to get my immunity back into shape and to push the Lyme back into its dormant state (TBD). I just finished a year long protocol to heal my body system by system, so hopefully I am close! I have come to terms, this was not a isolated event. But also I am really working hard to not let it drag me down on a daily basis. That part has been hard, but I am getting there. I told Mike a couple mini donkeys might help me get there faster! Not kidding! I truly believe now, that if I had this information I may have avoided the open heart surgery by getting help sooner. We will never know. I am not going to get into it, but it’s cray-cray that some doctors don’t “believe” in Lyme. So navigating a world where you are not sure where someone stands on the subject is also a challenge. I have always been someone who is good at pushing through the pain. I learned to do that after breaking my back and having back surgery at the age of 13. I am trying not to push so hard anymore, and listening to my body when I need to take a break and rest. And man that is hard!

Surrounded by love bombs from my family in MN…

I am grateful for all the help I have gotten in the past few years to get to where I am today. I am back teaching yoga in person. I am out skiing as much as I can in the colder months. And really just trying to slow down this life and enjoy the little moments.

I now live with a mechanical valve. I am no longer fully reliant on nature of my own body. It scares me to the core, but I am trusting it will keep me safe for now. I feel like I could go on and on, but lets save that for another post!

Treat yourself with kindness and love every single day. Do all the things. You never know when those days will be your last.

Love,

Anne